Day 7 - Cuddle Buddy

As Friday night turned faded into Saturday morning she began to crave the comfort of a man.  She wasn’t thinking about sex, just the comfort.  Spooning, cuddling and feeling smooth skin against hers was what she needed.  Laying on his chest and feeling his hands run through her hair and down her back.  Waking up in the arms of someone who at the very least cared.  He doesn’t need to love her he just needs to care or do a great job at pretending.  She hadn’t felt this in many weeks and this could be a great ending to her week..  The war in her mind was driving her crazy and the slight influence of alcohol didn’t help one bit.

She told her number 1 she was coming.  She intended to.  But a change in her evening plans with the girls put her far out of his way.  She didn’t feel like driving so far. There goes that idea!  She thought to text number 2.  He could come to her, she wouldn’t have to go to him.  But she has been doing so good at keeping him out of sight and out of mind, this would just start-up that horrible game of push and pull again and this one night wasn’t worth that headache.  Who else is accessible she thought?  There was someone who doesn’t even have a number that she knew would open his doors to her.  So she texted him.  Of course he responded even though it was 3am.  He was out-of-town.  She realized at this point that it just wasn’t meant to be.  The universe was making sure she stayed true to herself, so she had to give in.

As she drove home in and out of sleep she came to her senses.  She thought about what she had attempted to do and the feelings she was about to toy with, within herself and whatever man would have opened his door to her.  This is a cycle she needs to end.  She had to find a way to deal with these urges so that she doesn’t put her devotion to herself at risk, lead any on, hurt anyones feelings, or end up in another dead-end relationship.

After a good morning of rest the day moved in slow motion.  So many things on her mind that she needs to do, but getting sucked into the feeling of relaxation takes over, and causes her to not do a damn thing! Instagram, Facebook, online Shopping, and catching up on Ratchet TV on her DVR is what this Saturday became for her.

Late evening the “I’m single” radar went back out into the universe and she got a text message from a man from her past.  Talk about unexpected! This was the last person she thought she  would have ever heard from.  She had a microwave relationship with him a couple of years back, and he’s popped up once or twice since then.  This was one of the many men that claimed to be in love with her.  He thought she walked out on love and that they should still be together.   They had a great sexual connection, and looked great together out on the town, but besides that there really wasn’t much else that connected them.  He was the type of man that would have taken care of her so that she didn’t have to work, and she would have been his trophy.  He probably would have cheated, and they would have had lots of babies.  He would have thought he was a great husband just because he took care of her financially.  But besides that he would have abandoned her emotionally, and probably been abusive towards her in one way or another.

The last she heard from him he was back with his child’s mother, well having sex with her regularly and had invested in some businesses out of state that were doing well.  She entertained conversation with him for a short while. You know, the usual how are you, hows the family, hows work bla bla bla! They ended the convo on a cordial note then she deleted the texts and his number.  Out of sight out of mind.  Hopefully she stays that way to him as well…